Ready to really get down and dirty in the singles scene? Seven of every 10 coffee tables checked at the guys’ places harbored coliforms — a variety of bacteria abundant in the feces of warm-blooded animals. Yes, feces. To help put this filthy finding in true laboratory lingo, we turn to the study’s leader, Dr. Charles Gerba.
“They have poop on the coffee table,” Gerba said
“I would suspect the guys probably put their feet up on the coffee table. About 90 percent of shoes have fecal bacteria on the bottom after you wear them for three months,” said Gerba, professor of microbiology at the University of Arizona. “My wife never puts her feet on the table. I do, and I keep getting told to take them off.”
These fecal bugs — excellent indicators that such surfaces may also contain cold and flu viruses plus other squiggly microbes known to cause diarrhea — also were detected on many of the bachelors' TV remotes (30 percent), nightstands (62 percent) and doorknobs (13 percent).
To be fair, coliforms were discovered on the same surfaces in some of the bachelorettes’ homes. The bugs just weren’t quite as common — or plentiful — at the ladies’ digs. Except for one spot: 33 percent of the women’s front doorknobs harbored colonies of coliforms.
Again, though, the bachelors — and their grubby hands — may be to blame.
“The entrances into the women’s homes — we haven’t quite figured out yet,” Gerba said. “But I assume that’s why women always expect guys to open the door for them.”
Gerba’s study, sponsored by Clorox, involved swabbing the four selected surfaces at the homes of 30 bachelors and 30 bachelorettes. Most test subjects lived near or were affiliated with the University of Arizona in Tucson. Some residences in Los Angeles, San Diego, El Paso and Phoenix also were sampled. Any germs grabbed by the researchers’ swipes were placed on plates then incubated at about 90 degrees for up to five days.
Overall, Gerba said, the homes of the single women were cleaner than the average American abode while the bachelor pads were more germ-laced than the typical U.S. residence.
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