Once upon a time, New Year’s Day was more than a national holiday and a chance to sleep late, nursing whatever body aches and regrets you had from the night before. Sometime long ago, way back before gold pants were sold online and agents communicated with players via something called Twitter, Jan. 1 meant a 24-hour window during which college football owned the nation’s sports agenda. It was the only show in town, the only sport on the tube.
I hate to get all nostalgic, but I have great memories of waking up early on New Year’s Day, fighting my brother for a spot on the living room couch and getting lost in a college football daze until it was time to go to sleep. The bowl games were abundant and on every channel; more important, the games actually mattered.
But that was a long time ago.
That was when Jake Plummer, Rocket Ismail — and even Ryan Leaf — had an entire nation’s attention to themselves. It was a time when Keith Jackson’s voice could get a mother of two in suburban New Jersey to pop her head out of the kitchen with a “Whoa Nelly,” a time when national titles were decided before the NFL's playoff seedings were even determined.
But times have changed. College football isn't the only show in town, and for many it’s not even the biggest one on television. A hockey game being played outdoors in Pittsburgh — a 4-year-old tradition only enhanced by an HBO miniseries with the Liev Schreiber voiceover treatment — appears to be biting into the New Year’s Day sports apple even more than in years prior.
Furthermore, the bowl games don’t quite carry the same significance they once did. Six games will be played on Saturday; none will have any influence on the national title. Five of the 12 teams are unranked, and only half of the 12 finished with conference records above .500. In fact, over the past four years, eight of the 21 New Year's Day bowls have featured a team without a winning conference record. That occurred in just six of the 221 New Year's Day bowls from 1968 to 2007.
But in this modern college football world of stolen Lee Corso mascot heads, Fiesta Bowl sportsmanship awards being sold online and 35 bowl games — including ones called the Beef ‘O’ Brady’s Bowl and the TicketCity Bowl — over 24 days, you take what you can get.
And believe it or not, this year’s New Year’s Day slate — though trimmed significantly from the good ol’ days — is actually fairly intriguing. For the hell of it, let’s turn back the clock and treat Saturday like the New Year’s Days of yesteryear.
Let’s go vintage and make this New Year’s Day’s a day of nonstop college football. Need some help?
Here’s all you need to know: Eight tips to ensure Saturday will be a true college football bonanza:
1. LOAD UP ON GOODIES THE DAY BEFORE
Before getting all spiffed up and putting on that Drakkar Noir cologne from your college days for New Year’s Eve, stock up on enough snacks for the following day. You'll be tired, and if the games are good, you’re not going to want to leave the couch on New Year’s Day to buy some Skinny Cow flying saucers.
2. PACE YOURSELF
Don’t go overboard with the chips and dip and the Buffalo wings too early in the day. You’ll eat yourself out of playing — I mean, watching — shape and will be in a food coma before the end of the early slate of games. The TicketCity Bowl kicks off at noon. Ease yourself into the foodfest and keep an eye on the clock. Start off with some veggies and dip, maybe a beverage or two — but don’t treat this like a competitive eating contest. You’re no Joey Chestnut.
3. INVITE SOME FRIENDS — BUT NOT THE ENTIRE BLOCK
To really give New Year’s Day the college football respect it deserves, you need to have a dedicated crew of friends in the mix, not a revolving door of casual passers-by. The communal element of a nonstop football marathon day is the delightful mix of recurring jokes, continuity and complaints about Matt Millen saying things like “Great players make great plays.” Some clown who pops his head in for the Rose Bowl, asks what a Horned Frog is, then leaves an hour later with a doggy bag of bagels and lox isn’t bringing anything to the table.
4. ADD A “POOL” ELEMENT
Ideally, you’ll have a dedicated crew of six to 10 friends committed to the day-long football fest. Add some fun twists to the afternoon. Construct a 20-question pool and have everyone fill out their own sheets:
• Will there be a fake punt in any of the six bowl games?
• Will there be an Urban Meyer-Tim Tebow montage during the Outback Bowl?
• Will Mark Ingram score more touchdowns than Ryan Broyles?
• Will Kirk Herbstreit respond to Terrelle Pryor’s tweets calling him out?
Assign a point value next to each big player, pick an MVP and so on. This will keep everyone invested from start to finish.
5. KNOW AN INTERESTING TIDBIT ABOUT EACH GAME
Here are a few worth remembering: Northwestern hasn’t won a bowl game since 1949, Joe Paterno was 38 when Urban Meyer was born, Denard Robinson — a Florida native — will be playing in his first college game in the Sunshine State and Wisconsin defensive end J.J. Watt worked at a Pizza Hut for six months while waiting to receive a scholarship from coach Bret Bielema. Those are just scratching the surface. Do a little research and come prepared to wow your guests.
6. TAKE A POWER NAP
Barring a 100-point game or triple-overtime shootout, there should be a half-hour gap between the Gator Bowl (1:30 pm ET) and Rose Bowl (5:15 pm ET). You might have to be a tad shady about this, but it’s necessary. Say you need to tend to some work, say you need to go check on the frozen pizza bites, whatever. But catch a quick power nap. You need to save your best for last — and if you’re running on fumes during the Rose and Fiesta bowls, you’ll be fighting an uphill battle during crunch time.
7. GIVE TCU A SHOT
I know it’s going to be en vogue on New Year’s Day to beat up the guys in purple, but cut them some slack. At least, for the first half. One of three undefeated teams in the nation, the Horned Frogs deserve to play in a BCS bowl game. The Rose Bowl is a big stage, but the Frogs have earned this. For every fan of Utah in 2005 and 2008, for every fan of Boise State last year and for every fan of the little guys who've been dismissed over the year, TCU's playing in the Grandaddy of them all.
8. ENJOY IT
You get a day like this just once a year. Make the most of it. And if you do happen to check out that hockey game? Eh, it’s OK. Just don’t leave it on for too long. It’d be disrespectful to the days of old. It'd be disrespectful to Ryan Leaf.
foxsports.com