Yes, you guessed itl
Those pictures are in fact during various stages of my life. I apologize for the poor picture quality, but my dad isn't around to let me use his digital camera memory chip and show me how to transfer pictures from it to my computer. For that reason, I have chosen to capture pictures using my web cam. Anyway, these pictures feature just some of the highlights in my life-ranging from now (just sitting in front of my computer and relaxing while I have the time) to my senior picture after graduating from high school.
But why the sudden trip down memory lane, you ask?
Good question. Truth of the matter is, I'm not quite sure myself. I haven't had the best of weeks in terms of dealing with my disability and changes taking place in my life. You see, plans to move out with my friends fell through yet again; this leaves me back where I started-looking for job and unsure about what the future holds for me. To add to it, my dad isn't around to help out with things. I really don't know how one does it, juggling household chores as well as dealing with a young daughter who has a disability. Sometimes I don't give her enough credit for what she does do for me, let alone accomplish goals in her own life. Take for example, her long term dream of playing the piano. I don't know how long it's been since she first started, but in my estimation she's playing terrific for someone who just started two years ago. (Mom, that's supposed to be a compliment. If you're reading this.) Although, dad does his best to make up for his absence during work by sending her flowers to show his appreciation.
Anyway, I'm getting off topic here. A visit from my niece and sister-in-law made me re-examine my perspective. Yes, changes will happen. They are part of life, essential for a character building and perseverance. Watching my niece play in the mall kid area, I was struck by I Corinthians 13: 11-12. The verse states: "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known."
Looking back, I have been through a lot to get where I am today. Each one of those difficulties or accomplishments made me into who I am today. I should be grateful for everything and just live ever moment for what it is-a gift. Yes, I wish I could go back to where my faith was stronger and I didn't have to worry about what lies ahead. But that's a part of life.. wanting to do everything on your own, but realizing you can't. That's growth, knowing you can't do everything on your own. But no one can. That's where faith comes in. Trusting that someone has your back no matter what life brings against you.
I apologize this post was a lot more poetic and inspirational when I first wrote it or thought about it in my head watching her yesterday. But as I said, it's been a busy and testing week for me, yet emotional at the same time. If that makes sense. Keep me in your prayers.
Debbie