Exchange between fat asshole lawyer in an Eikelburg Fun Run t-shirt and unsuspecting girl working the hunting license machine at Academy:
Girl: Do you want a Federal duck stamp?
Lawyer: [rolls eyes] Pfffft! No! I don't want to mess with any ducks!
Girl: Did you hunt dove, ducks or geeses [sic] last year?
Lawyer: I don't know, maybe. How about you go ahead and put no for that question.
Girl: How many doves did you kill last year?
Lawyer [annoyed]: Zero.
Girl: How many ducks did you kill last year?
Lawyer [more annoyed and self-important, this time with raised voice]: Look, I haven't hunted ducks in thirty years. Does that give you any idea how many?
Girl: How many geeses [sic] did you kill last year?
Lawyer [more annoyed, almost screaming]: I told you already I DON'T HUNT DUCKS!
Give back Lady Liberty.
Great news, America. You can buy Boycott France bumper stickers on Bill O'Reilly's website.
Gibraltar Monkeys
Book Review: The Pyrates, by George MacDonald Fraser. Thoroughly enjoyable melodramatic spoof of pirate stories by the esteemed editor of The Flashman Papers. Fraser can't help but put to use historical figures as his characters, and Col. Thomas Blood stars as the novel's anti-hero. Col. Blood attempted to pinch the Crown Jewels from the Tower of London in 1671. At trial he vowed to answer to none but the King himself. Charles II granted Blood a general pardon and granted him an estate. There are several theories explaining the motivations behind His Majesty's pardon. Look them up yourself, you have the internet.
Movie review: Mystery of the Nile (IMAX). The movie itself was enjoyable. However, I didn't expect such a McDonald's crowd at the Museum of Natural Sciences. And I literally mean a McDonald's crowd. The theater smelled like french fries. And for Pete's sake, stop chattering and watch the movie. Maybe it's time to revisit my plan to move to Canada.
Concidence? Is John Mark Karr the same person as Texans' creepy QB David Karr?
Movie review: Mystery of the Nile (IMAX). The movie itself was enjoyable. However, I didn't expect such a McDonald's crowd at the Museum of Natural Sciences. And I literally mean a McDonald's crowd. The theater smelled like french fries. And for Pete's sake, stop chattering and watch the movie. Maybe it's time to revisit my plan to move to Canada.
Concidence? Is John Mark Karr the same person as Texans' creepy QB David Karr?
Fascinating
You'd think I'd get more postcards than I do. Thanks a lot.
If you won $300 million in the lottery, would it ruin you? If you answered no, you're wrong.
Ponder for a moment produce supply chains. You can buy an apple at Central Market that was harvested just days earlier in a Chilean orchard. Mind boggling. By the way, I encourage you to buy locally produced meats and vegetables. It's better for our farmers and Mother Nature.
If you won $300 million in the lottery, would it ruin you? If you answered no, you're wrong.
Ponder for a moment produce supply chains. You can buy an apple at Central Market that was harvested just days earlier in a Chilean orchard. Mind boggling. By the way, I encourage you to buy locally produced meats and vegetables. It's better for our farmers and Mother Nature.
Versailles in the Pacific
It seems that a Japanese laboratory has constructed a machine that can write text and draw images on the surface of water.
Taking information culled from here, Pink Tentacles writes: “The device, called AMOEBA (Advanced Multiple Organized Experimental Basin), consists of 50 water wave generators encircling a cylindrical tank 1.6 meters in diameter and 30 cm deep (about the size of a backyard kiddie pool). The wave generators move up and down in controlled motions to simultaneously produce a number of cylindrical waves that act as pixels. The pixels, which measure 10 cm in diameter and 4 cm in height, are combined to form lines and shapes. AMOEBA is capable of spelling out the entire roman alphabet, as well as some simple kanji characters. Each letter or picture remains on the water surface only for a moment, but they can be produced in succession on the surface every 3 seconds.”
Of course, we cannot wait until a larger version of the AMOEBA gets built, something continental or oceanic in scale. And then rather than propagating saccharine heart shapes and smily faces or boring letters and numbers, one could inscribe the Gardens of Versailles in their entirety somewhere in the South Pacific.
Hydrology coalescing into elaborate parterres, Baroque statues, marvelous topiaries and geometric hedges — all of which doubling as aquariums. A pack of humpback whales, for instance, will be gliding gently alongside as you sail down the main axis, their timeless chanting filling the breezy tropical air. Enter any one of the many bosquets dotting the landscape and you're soon surrounded by a swarm of fish. Enter another one and you're soon privy to the mating rituals of giant jellyfishes, seemingly weightless, ethereal. Watch out for the one with the great white sharks though.
Then at night, you set anchor in the middle of a tapis vert, a simple grass lawn on land perhaps but out in the Pacific, it's a vast cultivated field of bioluminescent dinoflagelletes.
Unfortunately, there is also the possibility of weaponizing AMOEBA waves in the same way one could easily turn any natural earth systems, e.g. earthquakes, into a national security threat. Because once the device falls into the hands of al-Qaeda, hydro-terrorists can then easily wipe Los Angeles off the map with a tsunami. In the shape of Versailles.
It'll be a new kind of maritime warfare. New York comes under attack by an endless barrage of Italianate gardens propagated from Atlantic waters. First the Villa Lante, then the Villa d'Este, next comes the Boboli, and then another one and another. Vaux-le-Vicomte is mathematically translated into a Bessel function and then supersonically launched towards Boston. San Francisco gets torpedoed with dozens of allées. Miami is under siege by zen gardens. No coastal cities would be safe. Unless, of course, you have your own AMOEBA machine, in which case you could simply send your very own waves to cancel out any incoming tsunamis.
More info (in Japanese) from Akishima Laboratory
Taking information culled from here, Pink Tentacles writes: “The device, called AMOEBA (Advanced Multiple Organized Experimental Basin), consists of 50 water wave generators encircling a cylindrical tank 1.6 meters in diameter and 30 cm deep (about the size of a backyard kiddie pool). The wave generators move up and down in controlled motions to simultaneously produce a number of cylindrical waves that act as pixels. The pixels, which measure 10 cm in diameter and 4 cm in height, are combined to form lines and shapes. AMOEBA is capable of spelling out the entire roman alphabet, as well as some simple kanji characters. Each letter or picture remains on the water surface only for a moment, but they can be produced in succession on the surface every 3 seconds.”
Of course, we cannot wait until a larger version of the AMOEBA gets built, something continental or oceanic in scale. And then rather than propagating saccharine heart shapes and smily faces or boring letters and numbers, one could inscribe the Gardens of Versailles in their entirety somewhere in the South Pacific.
Hydrology coalescing into elaborate parterres, Baroque statues, marvelous topiaries and geometric hedges — all of which doubling as aquariums. A pack of humpback whales, for instance, will be gliding gently alongside as you sail down the main axis, their timeless chanting filling the breezy tropical air. Enter any one of the many bosquets dotting the landscape and you're soon surrounded by a swarm of fish. Enter another one and you're soon privy to the mating rituals of giant jellyfishes, seemingly weightless, ethereal. Watch out for the one with the great white sharks though.
Then at night, you set anchor in the middle of a tapis vert, a simple grass lawn on land perhaps but out in the Pacific, it's a vast cultivated field of bioluminescent dinoflagelletes.
Unfortunately, there is also the possibility of weaponizing AMOEBA waves in the same way one could easily turn any natural earth systems, e.g. earthquakes, into a national security threat. Because once the device falls into the hands of al-Qaeda, hydro-terrorists can then easily wipe Los Angeles off the map with a tsunami. In the shape of Versailles.
It'll be a new kind of maritime warfare. New York comes under attack by an endless barrage of Italianate gardens propagated from Atlantic waters. First the Villa Lante, then the Villa d'Este, next comes the Boboli, and then another one and another. Vaux-le-Vicomte is mathematically translated into a Bessel function and then supersonically launched towards Boston. San Francisco gets torpedoed with dozens of allées. Miami is under siege by zen gardens. No coastal cities would be safe. Unless, of course, you have your own AMOEBA machine, in which case you could simply send your very own waves to cancel out any incoming tsunamis.
More info (in Japanese) from Akishima Laboratory
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